i don't know why, but for the longest time nights have scared me. i worry about not being able to go to sleep. i worry about not waking up or waking up randomly during the night ... i don't know when this started, but i know that i have never liked nights. maybe that's why i like to take naps during the day. because i feel safe. i know that a couple years ago i had panic attacks every night. and i would dread the thought of going to bed knowing that they would come and not being able to do anything about them.
then there was the trying to get to sleep in college. trying to CONTROL my sleep and be able to keep to my schedule of classes and not be tired. especially in the morning when classes would drag and i would long to go back to my room and curl up.... i remember hating to be awake after my roomates fell asleep and being able to hear their snores... and then when they didn't come home before i went to bed, i worried that they would wake me when they came in. and 9 times out of 10 they did! i sleep lightly. thankfully i have my own room and only the pets seem to wake me. i'm aware of them moving around. but when they wake me i feel something a little different. i love them and am much more accepting of them disturbing me!
God, instead of nights being scary, help me to just learn to rest in YOUR everlasting arms and not worry, but let You be in control. help me to surrender myself completely to You, starting with giving You my FEARS... especially my fear of night.
No comments:
Post a Comment