Agony...

the past few days have been AGONY.

shasta has been in heat, she sprayed a couple of my things (bible study book, bible, etc....). i dealt with it and moved on. unfortunately i told my mom. the next day i found pee on my green chair. i called my mom and asked her if she could get a new set of discipleship books for my friend amy since the pee had ruined a book. at the time i told the story i may not have defrientiated between pee and spray. i may have even blamed shasta. as i thought about it later, i don't know WHO peed on the chair. it could've been peanut.


anyways my mom met my dad for lunch that day and she had a total breakdown. she gave an ultimatum- either she goes or the cat goes. my dad relayed the message to me and said maybe we could soften her up if i got her neutered and cleaned up the piles...

at first, after hearing that, i cried. this wasn't my normal cry, it was my heart broken cry... sobs from sooo deep wtihin they hurt.

these past couple days i have been crying on and off. i also have called around to find out about getting shasta neutered.

shasta and i went to the vet and spent 3 hours yesterday to see the doc and get an estimate on what it would cost to have surgery and get all caught up on her shots. the couple place i called told me that shasta would have to see a doctor cuz she was older and get shots before she could have surgery.

ok, i have another lead i have to follow up on ... God, help it to work out in a way that both my mom and i can live with. God, i'm having a hard time... God, help me to be able to give up my hold on shasta. i love her sooo much. i love my mom. i'm torn. God, i wish that i could move out and take shasta. can you open that door? God help me trust You. Help me give both shasta and my mom to You. i'm having troube with that.