Convo
with God:
God:
Christy how was your day?
Me: it
was ok, much better than yesterday. I’m starting to feel that tummy ache, yucky
nervousness again. Why can’t I not feel nervous? Why does my tummy have to
hurt?
God: do
you trust ME?
Me: I
want to…
God:
but do you? I could give you My PEACE that passes all understanding. I could
give you sweet rest.
Me: why
is it soooo hard to trust? Why can’t I simply let go and RELEASE it into Your
hands? Why do I have to try to hold on sooo tightly?
God: I
made you and I have designed your personality to want control. To want order.
And when things don’t go according to plan it stresses you out. Because of this
you need to work a little harder to let go. You are trying to hold onto the
control, the order, the having to know what comes next. I AM a God who is
creative, loves to think outside the box, loves to let His creation create…
you, Christy, have a gift- a creativeness given to you by Me. When you are able to step outside
yourself and reach out to others they begin to get a tiny glimpse of who I AM.
Me: God
I want others to see You through me but I’m scared with this overwhelming
anxiety and depression. I don’t know how to move beyond the disorder and I let
it get the best of me. In fact I begin to let it identify me. God I want to be
a light for You. I’m failing in my own strength, so please let Your strength
takeover.
